My DD214

Veterans should be a thing of the past.

Psychonauts is the coolest game ever invented.

This is not a full fledged review, as I have not completed the game yet, but I would like to make a few comments.

When Dana and I went to Game Stop to look for what she called “a girl game”, I was expecting to leave with something along the lines of Barbie’s Fashion Designer Pony & Rainbow Cavalcade. However, when we were assaulted by the uber-nerd behind the counter (whose idea of great service was to ask us “So, um, what kind of games are you guys into?” repeatedly, driving us to the brink of madness), we realized that the only way to get him to shut up was to tell him we were looking for something “cool” that we could both play. He recommended Psychonauts for PS2. He said that it was one of the best games of the year, but it hadn’t gotten much attention from mainstream reviewers, as they were too busy getting erections playing the three titles available for XBox 360. I had my doubts, but since Dana has a talent for getting what she wants (mainly because she’s hot and has nice boobs, she doesn’t even have to be persuasive. She just wears tight shirts, and the world is her oyster), she convinced the clerk to give his solemn word that if we didn’t like the game, we could bring it back within a week and he would personally exchange it for another brand new game, even though that would be completely against Game Stop’s return policy. She’s good.

This game kicks ass. The main character is named Rasputin, and he’s a kid who grew up in the circus. He has psychic powers, and he makes smarmy comments throughout the game. This in itself is cool enough. However, the ability to levitate, catch things on fire via pyrokenesis, blast shit with psychic energy beams, and other tricks that I have not yet unlocked push this game into “neato” territory. The best part, though, is the little man who lives in your(Rasputin’s) head who can only be coaxed out to give advice by holding a piece of bacon to your ear. That’s right, I said bacon. You carry this bacon with you at all times. How bitchin’ is that?

The graphics are trippy, the music is fantastic, the story is strange enough to make even me want to play the game and sit through all the narratives, and the gameplay is varied enough to keep me from getting bored. Part first-person shooter, part “Myst”-like puzzle solving, part skateboarding, and part bacon. I highly recommend it. Do yourself a favor, though. Smoke something green before you play. You’ll thank me, as soon as you can pull yourself away from your TV, bleary-eyed and giggling.

10 January, 2006 2:22 PM Posted by | Game reviews | Leave a comment