My DD214

Veterans should be a thing of the past.

A Fair and Balanced Roasting

Stephen Colbert gets invited to speak at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, and some hilarity ensues.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

(all YouTube links)

I'm not gonna lie to you, I didn't make it to Part Three. It's pretty funny, and I chuckled at some points, but at no point was I busting a gut laughing. I will say this: Stephen Colbert has enormous balls. Enormous. Making fun of the President of the United States from the comfort of your own home, office, or bar is the national pastime. Making fun of the President of the United States from a podium fifteen feet away from him is another matter entirely. My hat is off to you, Stephen Colbert. Hell, my bra is unsnapped and being thrown onto the stage.

 UPDATE : CSPAN made YouTube yank the videos, but now its right here on Google Video. Details here, if you're interested.

2 May, 2006 3:13 PM Posted by | Politics and other hazardous materials, pwnd | Leave a comment

Some important facts

In the previous post, William has made a fairly large number of startling allegations. As I am a busy man, I’m afraid that I shall only have time to address one.

Lake of the Woods, MinnesotaIn the post, Will writes that my hometown of Albany in the great state of New York is “a small, po-dunk town”. At the acknowledged risk of veering into a tu quoque fallacy, we will examine the ground from which Will is making this argument.

At some point in the early 1980s, the great calamity of William’s birth befell our fair nation. To the best of my knowledge, this occurred in Lake of the Woods, Minnesota. By clicking on the name there, you can go to the county’s official website, which will immediately assail you with a looped sound effect of splashing water that (as far as I can tell) is supposed to evoke fishing and canoeing in the mind of the visitor, but only succeeds in making you think that there’s something wrong with your toilet.

Continuing down the path of enlightenment, we learn that (as of the 2000 census) the population of Lake of the Woods is 4,522 souls. Although Will may believe this to be a significant tally, remember that Will and other Minnesotans have only very recently come down from the trees, and that their lower primate brains are ill-equipped to deal with such complex mathematics as counting.

The population of Lake of the Woods County does not compare favorably with that of the City of Albany, as almost 100,000Some typical residents of Lake of the Woods people live in Albany proper, and more than a million reside in the extended metropolitan area. If Lake of the Woods has a “metropolitan area”, it most likely consists of a collection of ice fishing shanties. According to my high school’s website, there were almost twice as many students in my school district the year I graduated than there are in Lake of the Woods.

Po-dunk, sir? I think not.

6 March, 2006 8:00 PM Posted by | Civ4 PBEM, pwnd | 1 Comment

A further demonstration of my superiority over Will

Will has pointed out that I can do something he can’t do: create hyperlinks.

I will now follow this up by demonstrating another task that Will is incapable of doing: opening a can.

I prepare to do the impossible.

I prepare for the can-opening procedure.

It begins.

The procedure begins.

Done.

Et voila. The can is open.

16 December, 2005 5:57 PM Posted by | pwnd | Leave a comment