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DaVinci Code decyphered: It’s crap

As I have predicted (not that it was a particularly difficult prediction to make), The DaVinci Code is apparently a steaming pile of dung. The final big warning sign on this one was the lack of advanced screenings for critics, but now that the reviewers have had their chance the reviews are almost uniformly scathing.

If you know me at all, then you realize that this is good news. I revel in reading reviews of bad movies. And while there's a great selection over at Rotten Tomatoes, take my advice and read Devin Faraci's take over at CHUD. It is bar none the finest bad movie review I've ever read. Allow me to provide you with some highlights.

The Da Vinci Code is a terrible movie. It’s a movie that’s too stupid to appreciate it’s own stupid origins, and so it takes itself completely seriously. The stupider things get, the more seriously the movie takes itself, and the more seriously it takes itself, the funnier it is. The movie isn’t content with its own stupidity – it actively assumes that the audience is operating on a simian mental level (although considering how bad the writing in Brown’s original novel is, maybe the movie is overestimating the fanbase)...

Meanwhile, Jean Reno shows up as French law dictates that he must appear in any Hollywood movie shot in that country. Other great actors appear and shame themselves and their families for generations to come.

It's a shame that the movie sounds so tedious, because I would have enjoyed going to see a movie that was terrible in a Battlefield: Earth style. There's something so decadent about going to see an exceptionally bad film whose budget could have eradicated polio from Africa.

18 May, 2006 12:18 PM Posted by | Movies | 5 Comments