My DD214

Veterans should be a thing of the past.


Wes Anderson, the man who wrought Rushmore (one of my top 2 or 3 favorite films of all time, locked in an eternal struggle with Yojimbo and Pee Wee's Big Adventure), has made a two-minute ad for American Express. (via)

27 April, 2006 7:32 AM Posted by | Linkage, Movies | Leave a comment

What your child says about you

Matt Baldwin has got an exceptionally funny (and short) conversation up over at Defective Yeti.

26 April, 2006 10:27 AM Posted by | Linkage | Leave a comment

Don’t break the Lechner Rule

So it turns out that National Lampoon’s Van Wilder was not, in fact, entirely fictional. I am very impressed with one Johnny Lechner. This cat has done, for the past twelve years, what Fernando dreams of doing for the next twelve. And this guy hasn’t even gotten his Master’s yet. Fernando, take note… Columbia will eventually figure out what you’re doing, too.

BONUS: The name of the paper is The Badger Herald.

25 April, 2006 11:50 PM Posted by | Just a thought.. | 1 Comment

Clay has taken the bait.

HaHa! You thought I was gone. Nope, not at all. I was playing this game where I don't write on the blog for a while and the first person to mention it is a big dummy. 

In this case the dummy is Clay. Muhahahaha. Ahehhh…Whew. 

25 April, 2006 2:51 AM Posted by | Just a thought.. | 3 Comments

I Miss Will

Where is Will? I realized today that the last time we heard from him on the blog was March 6th, in a taunting attack on Fernando’s bravery, honor, etc.

I just want everyone to know that Fernando is afriad to actually play against me in Civ 4….Seriously Fernando, if you don’t want to play against me and get spanked, that’s ok. We can still be friends, but just know that next time I’m not going to be as forgiving.

We all know that Will’s insults and and aggressive attacks on Fernando are merely a convenient cover-up of his love of all things Cuban (and a poor cover-up it has been). Putting aside for the moment Will’s overwhelming desire to swim naked with Fidel Castro in a pool full of jello, the question still remains- Where the hell is Will?

Has karma finally caught up with him? Has Al Gore punished him in some way for his jibes towards his fellow bloggers, or his sins against the Interweb? What if, in an incident resembling a shitty movie, ghosts came out of his computer and ate his soul or something? What if, even more horribly, his stubby little fingers were somehow cut off in a freak lumberjack masturbatory role-playing game?

Maybe I’m just being paranoid. Maybe Will just doesn’t love us anymore. Will, we still love you and we want you to come back. We’re still at the same place. Come by anytime.

24 April, 2006 1:49 PM Posted by | Just a thought.. | Leave a comment

Transformers movie update (again)

IGN Filmforce claims to have the inside track on the voice cast for next year's Spielberg-produced Transformers flick (via CHUD's Dave Davis): "..veteran Jon Voight, man-mountain Michael Clarke Duncan, high-haired Las Vegas hunk Josh Duhamel, plus Bernie Mac, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro[.]"

That's right. Go back and read it again if you have to, but that line most definitely has the words "John Turturro" in it. So let's recap:

  1. Transformers feature-length movie,
  2. Produced by Stephen Spielberg,
  3. With John Turturro as the voice of one of the Transformers.

If they can somehow work Scarlett Johansson and Wilco into this, they'll have to sedate me prior to entering the theater so that my over-stimulated endorphin center doesn't accidentally plunge me into a coma.


Correction: As much as I love Wilco, I realize that they might not be 100% appropriate for a Transformers movie soundtrack. In keeping with the 1980s nostaglia goodness theme, I'd like to amend that last sentence so that it reads, "Scarlett Johansson and The Scorpions featuring Eddie Money".

21 April, 2006 12:17 PM Posted by | Movies | 5 Comments


Read the post below first. Follow its instructions. Then, come back here and clicky. Will the hilarity never end?

21 April, 2006 2:12 AM Posted by | Just a thought.. | 7 Comments

Happy Stoner Day, man.

So, as I was trolling the murky waters of the internet this evening, I decided to check out Something Awful. I used to read SA every day, but lately it hasn’t been very funny. Too many boring, time-consuming, inside jokes for those who participate in MMORPGs. Or whatever. Tonight, however, changed my mind. The article is from yesterday, but it should stay on the front page for a week. Holy shit, it took me almost fifteen minutes to get through the damn thing because I was laughing so hard.
The point of the whole exercise is to fill us in on The Bradford Exchange, purveyors of tasteless and horrific “memorabilia” to hillbillies, rednecks, idjits, rubes and morons since 1912.
Read it for yourself. The analysis of the actual items for sale is great, but the suggestions are priceless.

A stirring rendition of General Patton riding on the back of an American eagle, with scenes of dogs or cats (you pick the breed) painted on the interior of the wings.

Need I say more?

21 April, 2006 2:03 AM Posted by | Just a thought.. | 3 Comments

The Surreal Life

Excerpt from an actual conversation between Clay and I on Google Talk earlier:

Clay: have you heard of Guy Forsyth?

Fernando: yes. that's a character from the Three Muskateers, right?

Clay: my favorite new artist
Not, in fact, a character from the Three Musketeers

Fernando: :( i'm at right now

Fernando: and there's an angel with an m-16 on it

Clay: that's it

19 April, 2006 7:03 PM Posted by | Just a thought.. | 1 Comment


Adidas quietly launches a new ad campaign with this sincerely creepy video that’s been making its way around. Not only will this ad cause you to produce gooseflesh the next time you see a bed full of stuffed animals, but it features a terrific song by a heretofore-unknown-to-me artist named Greg Weeks, whose music I will most certainly be looking into now. (video is Quicktime, plays in browser)

18 April, 2006 1:28 PM Posted by | Linkage | 2 Comments