My DD214

Veterans should be a thing of the past.

I might have found the light.

Well, I’ve been absent from the blog for a couple weeks and I want to atone. I’ve become an MOA Christian. I know, I know. You’re all thinking,

Q: “But Will, how can you be an MOA Christian if you are also an atheist?”

A: Well, the answer is simple: MOA Christians are retards.

Q: Will, I know what a Christian is, but what is an MOA Christian?

A: An MOA Christian is a believer who attends mass at Camp Snoopy in the Mall of America.

Q: But Will, isn’t putting a Christian Church in the Mall of America a little askew from the idea that, umm… what was that guy’s name again…? Oh Yeah, JESUS CHRIST didn’t want a store inside his Church?

A: Yes, but the loophole is that he didn’t say that we couldn’t have a church inside the store.

Another reason why I’ve converted to this MOA Christian lifestyle, is because thier value system is more “on par” with my own values. Things like having a big screen plasma tv in the church window so that they can pummel passersby with thier media presentations and filmed dramatic reenactments of “acual life events” such as 1. problems with your children, 2. problems with drugs, 3. the list goes on.

Yes folks, the River Church is a “a safe place to figure out what life’s about”. So the next time you feel like donating to a charitable organization to help out with our collective and shared burdens, DON’T! Stop by the River Church in the MOA and figure out what life is about.

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30 December, 2005 7:55 AM - Posted by | Just a thought..

2 Comments »

  1. Hey Will: you owe me a Coke, bitch. I laughed so hard at this post that I spilled mine.

    Comment by Fernando | 30 December, 2005 9:20 PM | Reply

  2. Hey Will: this article changed my life. I have also converted to MOA Christianity, and will soon be posting my new manifesto of faith. Thank you.

    Comment by Clay | 1 January, 2006 10:19 PM | Reply


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