My DD214

Veterans should be a thing of the past.

Ivy League be damned

i’m back. that’s right bitches, i’m back. “back from where,” you might ask, and you would be entitled to a reasonable answer. the answer is, in fact, this:

I had to go christmas shopping.  There is nothing in this world that I hate more than christmas shopping, and that includes Nazis, the alarming spread of dementia in our nation’s population of senior citizens, and the tendency of the majority of “servers”, or waitstaff in America to ask me if I “want change” after I give them money to pay the bill. Of course I want change, asshole. I earned that money, and I by god decide how to spend it. Don’t go assuming that you deserve a tip. If I feel that the service you provided was deserving of a tip, then I will tip you, and generously, I might add. But to assume that your shit doesn’t stink and that your sevice was almost to fellatio level, and therefore automatically deserving of my change (no matter that you haven’t even looked at the actual amount of cash I gave you, I could be paying with a hundred for my order of Cheese & Mayonaisse Zing-Flingers, you fuck. A ninety-three dollar tip? Are you kidding me?), is absolutely mentally challenged (formerly “retarded”).

    So, yeah, I hate christmas shopping. I hate all of the massed, steaming humanity bustling, rather, roaming- like their distant cousins the American bison- through the malls and shops, fighting over the newest “hot” toy, most likely a talking sheep turd or a teddy bear stuffed with Colin Farrell’s pubic hairs.

    I hate the fact that I have to wait in line for anything closer than 15 miles to the mall, and I hate the mall. We didn’t even go in there today, but I could feel it’s evil presence lurking like a pervert at the public swimming pool. What a day.

   The consolation is that I am really fucked up on good hash right now, so I’m doing alright.

    More later.

 

 

 

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17 December, 2005 9:24 PM - Posted by | I lack creativity and/or attention to detail

2 Comments »

  1. I demand the “more” that we were promised!

    Quote of the month nominee: “I could be paying with a hundred for my order of Cheese & Mayonaisse Zing-Flingers, you fuck.

    Comment by Fernando | 18 December, 2005 10:48 PM | Reply

  2. Ok, here’s the “more”. That hash was fuckin’ awesome. I love working in the music industry.

    Comment by Clay | 19 December, 2005 12:46 AM | Reply


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